I have a lot of anxiety problems and it's driving me insane?

I have panic attacks and a lot of anxiety in general. So much to the point where I feel like my legs are so stiff I can't walk and my neck and shoulders are horribly tense. I have been off the klonopin I took for anxiety for 3 years because I had no insurance and couldn't afford the doctor or medication anymore. Lately I've had obsessive thoughts about hurting myself or my pets and I do not know how to stop it. I don't know why I think these things and I feel very guilty about it. Could someone please give me an idea of what might be wrong with me and how to make this stuff stop. I just get to the point where I cry and feel better and then it starts all over again.